Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Humbled Crater


Sitting Dumbstruck in the crater that was Hulio's Cafe Max couldn't figure out how this devastation had been caused... but he knew it had something to do with Marion.

Standing up he thought back to the last 24hrs to see if he could piece together what had happened. He clearly remembered working all night in his lab trying yet again to reverse engineer the accident which had given his repulsor field powers.

Next he recalled arriving home in time to get a call from Marion his lady love who wanted to meet up that afternoon for coffee at Hulio's. He had taken a short nap, woken to groom himself and eaten a late brunch.

From his recollection he arrived on time to see Marion sitting in their usual table in a beautiful red sun dress. As he approached she looked like she was crying. Why had she been crying... why couldn't he remember what happened next.

He crawled up the side of the crater to see a host of the cities finest rushing around tending to wounded civilians and his vision narrowed at the sight of a man clutching a woman covered in blood screaming. Than he remembered... Marion had broken up with him.

Truly the last thing he had remembered before the crater was closing his eyes and wishing really hard that all of this would just go away. Dear god what had he done!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

How I became the Bomb



It had been three days and that blasted pod just wouldn't stop demanding I finish my mission. At least that was what it kept echoing out of it's transistor voice modulator which after the crash could be a looped imperative program forced into priority sequencing. Personally I had gotten really sick of the entire purpose of my visit to Phalon 3 but than again I was on a mission... a mission to become the bomb.

1

The mission had started off like any other in the briefing room of the Universals Star Carrier Umalov where Jak had been waiting patiently for the last four cycles for command to show up. The problem was Jak was one of the last ranger core cosmonauts left and at least the only one left on the Umalov after his captain had gone and blown himself up two days ago. With that unhappy thought Jak knew he had better show up for briefing early as the reason command had selected his commanding officer for the last mission was because Jak had gone and slept in on mission day again.

A second later a flash of light arched across the massive view screen of the briefing room and the giant disembodied head of head fleet commander Marcus Selus appeared in horrifying technicolor. Jak sank further into his chair to avoid detection knowing he was the only one present but subconsciously wanted to be left out of this entire business.

Marcus smiled which filled the screen with mammoth like lips and Jak knew he was never going to last the day.

"Jakson Milphoy... yes that is you" the head announced with commanding authority. Jak regained some of his composer and sat back up in his chair "Yes Sir, Jak Milphoy reporting for assignment". Jak had always loathed his parental units for taking on son into his name it always made his feel like a child to everyone who used his full name and this was just one of those occasions.

"Listen Jakson I need you to take the Poliov Intercepted Pod to Phalon 3 and scout around the planet to see if there is any significant incursions by enemy drones" the head said like a twisted form of a jack in the box toy from ancient earth. "We have been getting some intel that everyone on Phalon 3 seems to be in a state of emergency but with no discernable reason. Most of the inhabitants are at a tech level of five to seven so they simplistics at best".

Jak groaned and tilted his head backwards across the seat of the briefing room command chair. Not more than a three months ago Jak had thought this chair was almost inaccessible at his current rate of performance success but after the incursions started rangers had been dropped off to planets like Phalon 3 never to be heard from again. Jak had thought that no matter what happened today he would at least get the bad news from command in the command chair even if the paperwork hadn't gotten to him yet about his dead mans boots promotion.

Without looking up Jak announced "As always sir I would be happy to inspect this planet for incursions, check on the populace and halt any enemy activity if spotted". Jak always felt it was necessary to announce his intentions back to HQ as they truly seemed to be staffed with a bunch a back births who needed their words repeated to them.

The head grew into a smile noting to Jak he had reached the brain receptors buried far deep into this mans head. "Glad to hear it Jakson and remember when your on planet the Poliov Pod will instruct you on a need to know basis with regards to the mission directives and intel". Jak rolled his head forward and placed it in his hands. Not only was this mission going to lead to certain destruction but something on that planet was stopped Jak from getting the full intel promoting a need to know basis of knowledge of the mission parameters.

Without lifting his head or saluting Jak said "Certainly sir the Poliov Pod will issues orders as needed, Jak Milphoy out". The head lost all emotion and slowly destabilized off the view screen. Jak lifted his body and exited the briefing room remembering to glance one last time at the command chair before the auto-lock doors closed behind him.

The flight suite prep was done with a passionless amount of effort and when one of the flight crew had asked in a cheery tone what great space adventure he was bound for next Jak merely turned his head to glare at the crewman. The crew always took interest in rangers as they where really the only ones to get off ship but most of them where shielded from the knowledge that most didn't return.

Entering the pod area Jak again was struck by the sheer amount of different pods stacked along each wall ten to fifteen units high. The auto mover slid Jak in his flight suite through the stacks to his pod and pod crew. As he turned the final corner Jak was again struck by the Poliov design. It clearly looked like a giant sphere at least three times the size of a man with dumpy looking feet at the bottom for land travel. Jak couldn't help but make the connection to a fat slob that had eaten so much his head and arms had just disappeared.

Jak was lowered into the pod by anti-gravity lifters and nestled into his chair. On his arrival in the chair the pod came alive with lights, sound and view screens of the outside area. The pod systems announced itself as Poliov Interceptor Pod skZSNg06 or PIP 06 assigned to the Umalov. Jak selected the mission number sequence from memory and the Pod view screens went into a blue loading screen with a massive bar attempting to fill up with what Jak thought must have been a massive amount of data to cause the Pod to chug through it's upload. On completion the pod closed the upper hatch and began to trundle towards the the flight bay. Trundle was the best word Jak could think of as the pod rocked back and forth on stubby legs to the exterior hanger.

Upon reaching the exterior hanger Jak was met by one of the cheery flight crew on his side screen informing him that the flight should take twenty to thirty phases and that he will be passing by a few unknown galactic events. In layman's terms he was going to be passing by things in space that command had yet to identify or as Jak like to think a bunch of pretty space phenomena to keep him entertained on the way to his certain doom. Before the thought was finished the exterior doors opened up and the Pod was blasted into space headed for Phalon 3.

Monday, November 30, 2009

One Line Wickeds 100

I love my life... being an evil genius is truly my lifes calling!

One Line Wickeds 99

Getting people to clean up after you is one thing but having them do it in a glass dome while you slowly sivan out the air now that`s evil.

One Line Wickeds 98

Oh give it up that bet of 1000 quatloos on the newcomer was never a sure bet.

One Line Wickeds 97

Now any thief can get through a laser field but it takes a special kind of infiltrator to get through my temporal laser room.